Better late than never

I have a photo hanging on my desk from my trip to Ireland. Over the photo I put two quotes on it, one of which is 'Better late than never'. I have no idea why I chose that, it just must have resonated with me in its simplicity and ability to withstand time and circumstance. I don't know where my mind and heart were in that moment.

For the umpteenth time in my life, I have been thinking about going back to school. I never have in the past, because I don't want to have loans and to have to worry about paying off debt. However, the longer I wait, the more I think: I don't want to be 35 and just starting my career. Unfortunately, the longer I wait, the bigger that number gets. I have been telling myself that I can make a career change or at the very least get more direction without have to cash myself out. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that is true - it may be! But, I just don't know. And the more I wait, the more anxious I get about it. And the more I want something else.

I look at young people who are graduating with their Masters and going into their career, 5 years younger than I am today, and I am jealous of their head start. I am jealous of 32 year olds who have been working in their fields for 10 years and have clarity and direction and have been saving money to make down payments on homes. If I choose to go back to school then I will have to delay that even longer. And the cynical and hopeless part of me [that rarely shows its face] says, do I really want to be 32, just starting my career and in debt?

The only thing is, the more important question is... do I want to be where I am now, at 32?

Ugh, that's a no. I need a game-changer. I just need to decide what I'd like that to be.

Better late than never.