I haven't written in so long. I can't tell what that's a product of. I think, partially, I'm just less in my head overall. Occasionally Ashanti comes to mind, in a distant sort of way. In the way that makes you think what your life could have been, the things you would have done if things had been different. I don't know what those things are, but the options are seemingly endless. The way that things happen, gosh, is such an intricate result of small decisions made over and over again. Tuesdays really are the worst. And yet today, so blue and bright. I'm so distracted, by nothing really. I just want to be distracted.

I'm so happy right now, I wouldn't change anything. Everything has been so unexpected. For the first time in a long time I have something that I could lose. I'm really fucking freaked out. But also feel so good about it. So good.