I'm rapidly approaching an inevitable change. I see it, weeks ahead, in my range of vision like the path ahead of me on a morning run. The sun at my back and the view becoming closer, slowly, with each silent, breathy step. I can see it! That's what's so strange to me. A knowing it will happen and the feeling that it's happening, that I'm there, now, doing the things to make it happen.

It will be the first time in eight years that I won't live with Kate, and the first time I'll be on my own for more than a couple months. I want it. I don't know what it will be like. And I fear a new type of loneliness. I see our lives diverging, I sense the shifting of our priorities, and I'm opening myself to the possible associated grief and loss as our relationship changes. I expect myself to flourish because I hope that I will. I welcome a new phase of my life, something I've ached for in one way or another for the past 5 years. I feel a new beginning sprouting. And yet, I feel weepy when I think of letting go.

But honestly, I'm SO EXCITED.