Men.

I was out yesterday, having a drink and a chat with this guy I recently met. The conversation went to "what are we doing here" rather quickly, because he is moving out of town in a few weeks and he's the kind of guy that addresses these things. It was comfortable, but surprising in a way to be openly and upfront talking about where we stand, when having been out only 3 times. The conversation was refreshing, and likely easy because it was before there were feelings and complexities and whatever else. People tend to know fairly quickly if they want to keep seeing someone, and so there's really not much to discuss - you just keep seeing each other.

Regardless, I got a bit of perspective here that was really helpful. Though I was in some ways, I never let myself get really upset from my last relationship that all I was given was, "I don't think we should see each other anymore" - and then a hug and a departure. I understand that people understand, process, and communicate everything differently. I was left feeling quite.... trivial. And hey, truth be told, maybe I was! While that sucks to feel, it's possible and I accept that likely we were just on completely different pages. However, I have had more conversations with people I've dated for a few weeks, than we had - and I would rather be able to talk about and through things than just depart. Just my personal preference. 

No matter what though, not everyone just walks away. Not everyone gets upset when I share my feelings of being scared. Not everyone would rather force a quick goodbye than share where they stand to help a girl out. It's not that I did or didn't have the right to get more. But I wanted more. And I didn't get anything. And that's the point - it's okay to want more and there are people who give it. 

It's inaccurate to assume someone does or doesn't care, but the way that he carries and expresses himself communicated to me that he doesn't. And it's important to me, because I left feeling terribly insignificant. Perhaps I was. I may never know!