Been thinking lately...

About the things that define me. The last couple years I have gotten into health and nutrition, and what I eat has become very important to me. On top of that, I define myself as someone who is active - I am climbing, hiking, doing yoga, running... anything that keeps me moving. Anything that challenges me and gets me outside or opens me up. I'm not a super marathon runner, and I eat pizza on a regular basis - but steady ways to release energy and knock out too much sugar is just a part of who I am.

About a month ago, around when my grandpa passed away, I injured myself in yoga. I pushed myself too hard, I went too far. I wanted to be more, be better, be the best - I wanted to push myself to the limit enough where I believed I could do it and my body just wasn't there yet. It's been a hard injury. I tried to still climb, but it made it worse. In essence, I couldn't do anything - except go for walks. Even that I couldn't do for a little while.

It's hard to sit still when the core of you wants to run wild. This is true spiritually, as well as the literal sense I'm speaking of. A couple weeks of rest is one thing, but months of not being able to do the things that make you feel most like you - that's disheartening. That makes you lose yourself a little bit. I've been down.

So, then, what defines me now? I will emerge from this one day and slowly jump back in the harness and on my yoga mat. But right now I have been forced to think about myself in a different light. I can write, I can read, I can do the other things I love to do. But I've spent so much time working on myself physically that not having that to work on means, well, what am I working on? And when I eliminate that, I think, how am I happy with the other parts in my life? I'm not sure that I am. But I want to be. It's sort of like peeling back the layers a bit. When you remove all those other things, you can see the truth about the one thing that was covered up before with whipped cream and a cherry. It's interesting. But, because it's my personality, I feel immediately like I need to do something about it. But I'm just not sure what at the moment. I'm just not sure what.