Here and there

I've been pretty busy at work [which isn't new] but there's always something going on that's taking a large chunk of my mind. Even more, the weather has been distractingly nice, to the point where I just want to lay outside at all points of the day in a non stop manner. I feel spoiled, to be exposed to such pleasantries [which, as a note, many people in other parts of the world just come to expect - what a life that would be!]. In 10 days I will see Steve and it sort of made me stop what I was doing and just think about him. Think about seeing him, talking to him face to face. It doesn't seem real, doesn't seem like anything I can stand on. But it does seem like something I can try to wrap my arms around a little. And it sure makes me feel a bit inside out. It's difficult to dwell on without being overwhelmed a little. Am I a wacko? I must be alive and going for it and living it all out. I don't really understand it. I don't know what I'm doing or what anything means or really how I feel except for the jittering under my skin makes me move and I can't say no.