parachutes

dangereuse.

sometimes i think i there are a lot of things i will never be ready for. or rather, that i dont feel that i am. only that ill be ready when it happens - mostly because im faced with this something and therefore i must be ready. and it comes together in this beautiful way.

and i also think sometimes i know im ready for things when i start to open up more to it. but sometimes i worry that the cues are off balance somehow - that i dont open up because i dont think im ready, but also that i would be ready if only i would open myself up. and thats really where my confusion comes from. i cant read myself. well i dont quite think that. i guess i think i get in my head too much. but one thing i am good at is intuition. if i could just let go enough to let it lead, just sometimes.

either way, im feeling a bit dangerous. in multiple ways, multiple elements. in body and mind. a little bit terrified.