Super sleepy today. Went to bed late and slept in chunks, waking up way too frequently. So many different dreams, it was a bit of a cluster of confusion between what was sleep and what was life. I did lay in bed for a bit thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. I've been thinking about it ever since that dream a few weeks ago. Though my instincts feel there is something there, I've been wrong about this before and been hurt so many times to freely put myself out there like that. At the same time I also like that it's casual, that we can hang and I don't have to expect one thing or another because we are friends. At the same time I've been thinking about what it would be like to kiss him, so there's that. Gosh what a feeling, to remember so distinctly the way that someone touched your hand or neck in playful banter but not knowing if it was really veiling something else. If I'm honest, I'm scared.