Everything is Green

Found myself sitting at the kitchen table a couple nights ago reading some David Foster Wallace. That guy was truly in his head, and I feel it. I find myself now, Wednesday afternoon, feeling a little down. I'm not sure why, but I think I might know. I'm going on all these dates lately, and they're all OK. But they're also not much of anything. I could take it or leave it, mostly leave it. Feeling a bit tired of all that, feeling myself settling in to singleness and starting to talk down to myself around what I do or don't have that differentiates me from the other coupled humans (despite my knowledge that's not how it works). And the one person I did want to spend time with, well he's impertinently busy. So I've changed my view, I've pulled back so that I do not expect a level of friendship for which I had hoped. For what might in actuality be the 20th time - shame on me. So perhaps all of that has me feeling a little lonesome. That and the feeling of summer passing by.