Inspiration Tuesday: They Matter

This morning I received an email from my boss about a coworker of mine. A couple years ago he battled through cancer. He made it through, and everything was going well. Just the other day they found a mass in a place they can't do surgery on and he will have to do chemo / radiation.

My grandpa is getting to be very old. My grandma passed 3 years ago, yet he refuses to leave the house they lived in, though he can barely take care of himself, let alone the house. Last week he fell. The EMS broke the door down to get to him, but he refused to go to the hospital. My dad went over there and took care of him and put him to bed, and told him to stay in bed tomorrow morning until Eileen [relative] got there. He didn't listen, got out of bed, and fell again. He went to the hospital. We found out he has cancer.

Another coworker of mine found a lump last week, which was confirmed by her doctor. She is getting more testing done tomorrow.

On a bright note, I saw a beautiful rainbow as I was driving into work this morning!

This morning, though, shook me up the most. I don't know what it was. Maybe because it was the third in one week. Maybe it was because I know his family, I know the struggle he went through last time, and I know the gentle, goofy, and positive heart that he has. It breaks mine to think about him going through this. And I barely know him. No one deserves this. But we know there's some variable there: our minds tend to think, some people really do 'deserve' it less than others. If this is true, he is certainly one of those people.

On my drive in, before the rainbow, my mind went to his wife and daughter. Last summer we traveled to Uganda together and I got a small peak into their family, spending 10 days back to back together. They are wonderful. So loving and open, spunky and silly. And I couldn't help but think about them, their sadness, and wish it wasn't happening. Asking why may be moot. But really, why?

I'm not sure what their road holds. I don't know what will happen with my other coworker tomorrow, and I'm certain I'm not dealing properly with my grandpa. But I was reminded, as we all often are in times like this, of the things we find most important.

Did we go after our dreams? Did we even try to find them?
Did we savor the moments that we knew were good? Especially the little ones.
Did we forgive people? Did we let it go when someone hurt us, because they, too, were probably hurting?
Have we been thankful?
Have we told those most dear to us that we love them? Just because we can.
Did we love others simply because we have the capacity to?
Did we try to making something better simply for the sake of someone else?
Have we let go of our pride long enough to let someone really know us, to let ourselves be vulnerable?
Did we learn what love really means?

Am I proud of myself? Of the decisions I've made. Of the person I've chosen to be. Can people trust me, confide in me, and lean on me? Do they know I care, that I will be loyal? Am I patient, am I kind, and am I forgiving? Do I forgive myself? I want to share the beauty I see in this world with others. I want to make people smile.

For today, I want to think about the people I want in my family. And why. And then think about how I can show them that they matter. Because they do.