I think I can trust myself to say this because it's morning time and I'm always a bit less rash in the morning. I can even find myself to be a bit too realistic in the morning. Night is a whole other story.
This morning I had a flash moment of this dream life, of what I would wish parts of my life could look like in an ideal world, without thinking about the things that have to happen because of money and time and society and so forth. Because at the end of the day we still need to get jobs and pay rent and work at our relationships. But the truth is, deep within the core of me, I would love to live in Europe for a while. I want that. I don't want to be down a road, and this is the road I'm on because it's the one that happened to work. I want to be in beautiful and inspiring places where I can experience new cultures and be a part of new adventures. Not just once a year on my week-long vacation. But for a year, or two, or three, or however long it can last. And then write about it. I want to do it because this is the life I have and it's all I have. And I could be safe, or I could take a risk. And I could fail, or I could learn something about myself. And I could lose a lot. But wouldn't it be worse to not try? To lose that opportunity? I think, yes. I feel like a crazy person. Like a huge, gigantic unrealistic crazy person who is throwing everything I've ever had into the wind and running on my own in a completely new direction. But I want to! That's the crazy part!
If it doesn't work out, then I will have one hell of a battle wound that could encompass my heart and soul for a long time.
But if it does - oh but if it does....
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