Coffee

And other things. If I spend some time reading through older things I've written, I can string together a personality and a picture of what I used to be - or am - and it's both revealing and unsurprising. It's difficult to see the full display when you're in the details so much.

I honestly don't know when I became so empathetic - and if I always was and now I have more understanding, or if it's grown over time. Likely both. I feel myself separate from others when I see them do ridiculous things yet I want to not judge them yet they act so terribly so it's at times a conflict. I never really want to give up on people. Why do I afford people such grace?

I remember distinctly learning in church that mercy is not being given the bad things you deserve, and grace is being giving the good things you do not deserve. Once I went on a trip with my family to a holy spirit conference, where these ladies who didn't know me prayed over me and then told me I had the gift of grace. Shit like that is weird.

I had an interesting conversation with my dad last weekend that was very good. He has changed so much and I appreciate the person he and my mom are becoming, or have become. I am lucky. It's funny how things have progressed.

I am so young yet I feel so much has happened to me. I could choose to have all the things or none of the things I have any more, at any point.