Because I can

I found myself laying on my bed last night with a notebook and pen, scribbling some notes about what does it mean if I want this but I also want that and I need this but I need that and so on. I woke up this morning with some clarity, as usual the morning time saves the day. But! What I mean to get across is that I stopped thinking enough to think. I haven't done that in a while. I've been caught up. In a couple different things. Which surprises me so! Because I do things and think things that make me think I would be able to not get caught up. But alas, I do. In work. Too much in work. Potentially more than I want. Which is the first time I've thought that. My job is a lot of me. And for a moment I thought, I don't know if I want that. Both because I want my life to be more than my job, and because I don't know that I want this specific job to be my life. It really got me thinking, and got me confused. And then got me over thinking. At least it's sunny today.