I was walking home from work today just as the kids at the harlem school were on recess. this brightly painted childlike mural in the middle of harlem surrounding a group of 20 or so 6 year olds lined up in all their winter gear, and then all of a sudden they burst forth in two-footed leaps all simultaneously toward the other side of the playground and it was perfect. (the miike snow – silvia in my ears helped a little) but a part of me lit up and I wondered if other people feel things the same way I do when stupid moments like this, which really mean nothing for the most part, touch me so much. That and I wanted my camera so much it hurt a little. I think in pictures, I see things that are happening in stopped time. and I think I literally begin to stress out when I cant manifest that into an actual photo. now im just at home. because alex said I should go home. and I cant even work on what I brought home to work on because our internet isn’t working well. So im laying in my living room floor. Bored. And coughing quite disgustingly.
this month is all fucked up. i kind of like it actually. feels like the old days. when everything was confusing in my head all the strange and fucked up things would happen to me and all i could do was laugh and hang out with anna. its nothing on the same caliber - but still good to visit an old friend. i can see how people may think its lonely, but theres a freedom in being unreachable. it may be my fatal addiction. im not worried about it though - i trust myself. and more importantly, my friends. so i guess ill unpack and stay awhile. why not? i mean 3 weeks, i dont know about you, but shit! i mean, shit! thats no time at all.
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