uncomfortable

i had a dream last night that i was riding on this train and i got off for some reason. oh wow i just rememebered that before i got off, i was laying around with some friends - a strange group. and we were laughing about something and all gathered for some reason. and then i saw mark kinda far away and he saw me and waved and came over. and then everyone else was gone and his daughter was there (but i think he has a son not daughter)and i was playing with her. then she turned into a plastic toy. then i was running outside the train. and its somewhere ive been before in my dreams. because as the train passed by i knew i would have time to get back to it. so then i was running in some open field until i realized i had to get back. so i was crawling in some tunnel following the tracks but then the track split and it never has before. so i turned around and two guys were behind me so i asked them where they were going but they ignored me. so then i saw another guy, about my age but maybe slightly younger, and he said well im trying to get to new york. so was i, so we went down the stairs to the station. and he bought my ticket for $41. then we got lost trying to find the shuttle.

the economy has me down today. tonight we'll be in our new place but without internet so i dont know when ill be around. i have worries. i chose this for myself but now i wonder why. and now i feel like i dont belong much here or there. its raining. i dont want to always be like this. i need something comfortable if only for an evening.