in the air

i find myself not having enough time for me. not having enough time to think, to take in, to explore. not having a way to describe how i feel because i dont have the time or energy to really notice how i feel. or the energy to approach some of the things i know i do feel. its frustrating. i want to stay who i am - love what i do. but right now i dont have the leisure to let my mind and soul frolic, at least not noticeably. i am fearful of losing awe. no matter how carefree i often am, im learning that i cant survive without some sort of certainty behind me. i need a deep breath. but it wont come to me for another couple weeks. i have to hold tight for now.