Canopy Glow

2012-01-31T22:01:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I can only think clearly through poetry, or the outline of a fictional character's personality and the way their thoughts are manifested. Which is never in fact clear in and of itself, but the thought of reading some collegiate encyclopedic nondescript outlay of an idea bores my eyeballs. I enjoy(or thrive from?) the manifestation, the thought processes, the connections between generally unfit "things." Because sometimes I feel like my brain thinks in ideas and connections more than terms themselves.

Maybe I just have a poor vocabulary.

2012-01-31T18:10:00.003-05:00

I want a girlfriend who I can spend time with, talk with, take out, etc... but I don't want to get constant texts from them when I'm away.

Hmm? Deranged.

2012-01-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

2012-01-26T22:11:00.002-05:00

<3
Beco

June 14 2011

2012-01-22T00:02:00.000-05:00

Ashanti: you wanna start a band and we can tour europe and make a zillion dollars and adopt like 10 african babies
me: ok but i dont have any musical talent
Ashanti: i know tons of people that fake it
me: ok, ill have to learn to fake it
Ashanti: watch some youtube vids. take some notes... youll be just fine
me: haha ok
Ashanti: or! you can wait until i make enough money around my early 30's and ill just take care of you
me: 10 year plan eh? thats very nice of you
Ashanti: yea. like you said i manage to find a way. if youd let me, i would take care of you so you never had to work again. unless you were bored.
me: youre too sweet. i would get bored but id find something to occupy my time
Ashanti: you could do anything you wanted. i dont think youd get bored.
me: sounds like a pretty good deal

2012-01-21T19:12:00.001-05:00

frye love.

2012-01-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

You got me runnin’
You got me hidin’
Run’ hide’ hide’ runnin’ anyway you want it let it roll
Yeah you got me where you want me now
Baby what you want me to do

I’m going up
I’m going down
I’ m going up down down up anyway you want it let it roll
Yeah you got me where you want me now
Baby what you want me to do

Oh baby, you don’t have to go
No no no baby baby
honey you don’t have to go
I’m goin’ to pack my things
And down the road I go

2012-01-19T21:09:00.002-05:00

My fair-haired song choices involve 4 and El Camino, on repeat. Marvelous, really. January has been a big blah. Really for just one huge reason. One huge horrible reason. I've sunk, I think. At least for now. Hmm.

In other news, I eat way too many lean pockets.

2012-01-18T20:44:00.000-05:00

There's nothing negative about running away to save my life.

2012-01-15T23:41:00.001-05:00

Money is the cheapest thing. Freedom is the most expensive.

xo.

2012-01-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

be fierce vitality; young, free, and bold.

2012-01-07T18:09:00.001-05:00

We sat on some estranged porch, on an island occupied by tourists and locals alike. It was strangely set up like a western film’s town center on display, either strategically or through the contents of my idealizing mind. We rocked, in our wooden chairs, maybe for quite a short time. Long enough, though, to hear your stories, long enough for your thoughts to impress me. I wanted to hold your hand the entire time.

The afternoon ended too soon, and my apprehension dimmed alongside my curiosity. Every encounter with you is new, I thought, in the most undeniable way. How can it be that I feel as I am re-learning you, every compounded hour. Slaving over tiny details of your mood, stance and expression to have just one non-juxtaposing constant. Your inconsistency has become my stronghold, allowing me to let go or hold back on queue, if you demanded it. Most of all I think I want you to be mine. And moreover, I, yours. In such a complete way that it is unfathomable, insufferable, and thus the most horrific scare of my life. But for now ill lay down my futile heartache for our small intimacies, an afternoon in the sunshine, and unspoken glances of love.

2012-01-06T19:16:00.000-05:00

2012-01-06T19:04:00.004-05:00

"As you will presently know, I do not like to work, or to be nearer the truth, I do not like to surrender the hours and minutes of my life to anyone, let alone a fogy old employer. I rather like the idea of having all my hours to myself: eating a fudge sundae, watching a movie, sleeping on my couch, singing in the bathroom, studying the woods, kidding around with a girl, playing cards lazily, writing, etc. All kinds of stuff that America brands "shiftless," at one time or another."
--Kerouac, The Good Jobs

2012-01-03T22:19:00.004-05:00

i was having a chat the other day about the obscurity of this idea of a new year and how it is abstract, in the sense it is created as a guideline, a sieve, for society. it's all made up but helps filter our brain-stamps into passages of time that are dated.

last year i was doing different things. as i see things around me change, i feel like i need to think about myself and who i want to be. its time to readjust some things. time to spend time away from things that dont add to the good beautiful things i want in my life. and the things i want for my soul.

so i cant ever remember a time ive ever taken note of the nonesense that is new years resolutions, but today, this day, i strongly aspire to look within, to better feed my heart and soul, and to persevere despite my mistakes and my hurt.

i guess thats all folks!

montreal:

What?... Ah okay.

2011-12-27T17:15:00.002-05:00

"Life Is Not Like The Movies, except for some of them, like documentaries, but even those can be edited into traditional narrative arcs and skewed by a director’s bias. Some of the types of people that Americans typically want to be are Stable And Satisfied In A Stable Relationship, Talented, Driven, Sexy, Cultured, Intelligent, Alpha, Young And Successful, Winning, and more. The types of people the vast majority of Americans are are Trying To Be Stable And Satisfied In A Satisfied Relationship, Trying To Be Talented, Trying To Be Driven, Trying To Be Sexy, Trying To Be Cultured, Trying To Be Intelligent, Trying To Be Alpha, Trying To Be Young And Successful, Trying To Be Winning, and Trying to be more. The movie character Daniel Plainview is more real of a person than I will ever be. It is thought that having an awareness of self at the level of consciously knowing you’re Trying To Be [Identity] brings with it a level of self-doubt and self-monitoring that will, ironically, indefinitely, prevent you from earnestly ever becoming [Identity]. It is thought that having an awareness of self at the level of consciously knowing you’re Trying To Be [Identity] will forever mutilate the Meaning that Authentic People allegedly use to perpetuate their authenticity into ‘merely’ an experience of pride or shame stemming from the judgement that you have successfully or unsuccessfully been a desired [Identity] (rather than an experience of uninhibited meaning an [Identity] allegedly feels)..."

--http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/no-ones-real-anymore/

2011-12-26T21:29:00.004-05:00

in my few years ive learned its better not to make decisions based on possible outcomes. i must say sir, youve left me speechless in ways ive yet to discover. all i can say is, coming home to east 95th gave me more air than ever before. kinda scares me. i spend half my time thinking about what could have been, and the other half thinking its just as well. all i can do is be me, with love in my soul and openness in my heart.

2011-12-23T16:53:00.000-05:00

"i love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

--Ernest Hemingway

2011-12-09T19:43:00.003-05:00

stressful week, happy for friday. even more happy for christmastime. im having the loveliest evening with tranquil christmas music while cozying on my couch.

below: poor pup + perfect celebration

2011-12-02T22:10:00.005-05:00

i think im pretty sure what i want is to live on a big piece of land. and to take care of the house, the land, and the children. all while reading a lot. also, and im sorry but.. eating DQ. i can live for that, in a big way. i think.. yeah.. that might be my dream. after a couple years of travel. or! all the while. whatever suits us.

maybe with a little huskie, and some other tiny collie mix.

all i need in life is a good soul, a good story, and a little sunshine.

2011-11-22T20:07:00.000-05:00

"We are unusual and tragic and alive."

— Dave Eggers

2011-11-22T17:32:00.004-05:00

Ometepe:

My allergist is cousins with the dude I went to prom with. Really nyc? Really. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised by these things anymore. People are so interconnected and its creepy and safe at the same time. I have to take these 4 drugs for 3 weeks to see what works. Annoying, why can't the doctor say abracadabra and I'm better forever.

On Monday my coworker asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no and he said why? And I said because there is no one. And then I thought.. that's kinda personal. What if I was a cheater, or a lesbian, or am eternally scarred from a recent abortion? How am I supposed to answer these things. Cmon now. But really world.

Elsewhere, I've felt off since Sunday. But not in a terrible way or anything. I feel good about life.

2011-11-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

2011-11-20T16:32:00.001-05:00

There's nothing like a great nights sleep and a bit of sunshine.

2011-11-13T18:32:00.002-05:00

woah. i trust myself but sometimes i worry i hold higher the fruits of the connection of similar souls than well being of my own heart.

2011-10-25T22:07:00.002-04:00

ive been going through a lot of thinking. hibernation is on the brim, this winter fortress.

2011-10-18T21:13:00.002-04:00

Stop over analyzing, life is simple.

2011-10-07T09:19:00.000-04:00

back in ten! (days)

2011-10-04T23:31:00.001-04:00

suppose its about that time again. here goes another cycle. time marches on, as do i. unwillfully.

eyes wide closed.

2011-10-02T14:22:00.003-04:00

GUHHHHHHHHH why. life is unfair YOU ARE UNFAIR LIFE.
i am sad. so i bought myself a bunch of flowers and im going to make a homemade apple pie. i feel... at the mercy of time and circumstance. frustrated. and like i could (will be) be missing something so great. but there are stupid things.

stupid.

2011-09-30T21:26:00.002-04:00

not simultaneous feats.

2011-09-28T22:21:00.002-04:00

"This sudden rush - it’s like, an immense forest of tall, thin trees, effervescent. Beauty and freedom and a fresh dew pine floor extending into the future. Spacious spaces planted with intermittent obstacles, pure and natural impediments, tall, thin, and reaching towards the unknown. Newness. There’s an imminent sunrise to my front, and a raging rivulet to my back, draping the course of exit. I’m feeling slant towards an emergent sense of loss of my bearings which I receive half with defiance, half with confused contentment, or pleasure even. I, myself, am okay with this journey. I, myself, extend an invitation to the wildness of life. The unknown of newness. This rush - almost as quick as the catch of your tempting eyes, so sudden I’ve lost time to think, to respond with anything other than immediate impulse - this rush emerges as an essential, ever forbearing constant, ambition, and whimsical fancy I’ve no means to establish myself, on my own terms. Only within this landscape, only within this open air formed from the purities of life, simple and supple, a natural abundance begins to overflow.

Forward through the wilderness the slants grow steep and slippery. The uncertainty, bewilderment if you will, of any lack of familiar landscape bears heavily on a deeply and long treading soul. The sudden rush recedes with the seasons of a tempered heart, into a less lush tropic of treacherous creatures of the wild. I find myself once bedazzled, once lit by brazen pits of beginnings. Captivated by crossing the countryside. Now, merely tired. Merely weary, burnt, and broken. From all that forbearing, and all those constants, and all these tall, thin, emasculating trees reaching, rather roaring, into some distant, abstract, inaccessible sky, some blue heavens, some never-ending mystery. Some never-ending mystery. Mystery! A secret Mother Nature twists into those blue heavens, those beautiful blue-green seas and heavens. A wonderment! A bewilderment of awe that breaches through the tall, thin trees, splits open self consciousness and pride and sits before you. Daily. If you allow it. If you allow him to run amuck, a frenzied fashion of mystery. Frustration and mystery. Newness and uncertainty within the imminent sunrise, standing plainly to your front. Daily. If you allow it."

"i’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled christmas tree lights."

"sometimes you just need to take a nap, and get over it."

2011-09-28T07:30:00.002-04:00

This Home that I speak of, madmen, may be anywhere on earth. It is the soul of Man, I think, and it is a component, a mixture, a swarming vat-like concoction of all the ideals of Man, embodied upon one portion of Earth's crusty integument, and thrust upwards in a gesture of terrible finality and beauty that shall forever beckon.

2011-09-23T18:42:00.002-04:00

"the hardest thing in the world is to simplify your life. its so easy to make it complex. whats important is leading an examined life."
-180 degrees south

my idea of a cabin in the wilderness.

2011-09-20T07:26:00.002-04:00

rainy, dreary day - so im told. ever since i got my bed back, i dont want to get out of it. 2.5 weeks until nicaragua and im entirely underprepared. im currently mid 180 degrees south and loving it! although ill never be pro climbing surfing dudes like them, i like their style. i need a day-break to gather thoughts/sleep. saturday! sigh, so far.

2011-09-18T21:51:00.002-04:00

its been awhile. ive been doing a lot, i suppose. things are things. change is all around. my birthday was beautiful, as is the coming autumn. i feel more further from all the things that once used to be concrete than i ever have before.

2011-08-30T20:33:00.003-04:00

she is quick and curious and playful and strong.

2011-08-28T15:46:00.000-04:00

so silly!

2011-08-24T22:23:00.001-04:00

so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

2011-08-22T20:31:00.001-04:00

i have a knowledge of my desire to come upon some mystery, and an accepting understanding of the unguided means to get there. whether or not my mundane daily cycles will continue to cultivate this simplicity i yearn for is some unknown component which im unsure if i can alter. rather i will have myself live in and through each day, both inside my head and out, in hopes of a still, full heart and eyes drawn to discovery, and the graces of pure life.

2011-08-14T17:47:00.002-04:00

the rhythm of her conversation
the perfection of her creation

2011-08-11T22:41:00.003-04:00

wednesday is our last extermination which means its basically time to re-do my entire room, since now its pretty much empty and unoccupied-looking.

-paint the inside of my bookshelf a yet-to-be-decided shade of light blue/purple.
-plants! that ill try hard not to kill this time
-new white curtains
-take down shelves and replace with photo wall (leaning towards 1 big one..)
-lots of tidying/reorganizing of things things things

ill update with actual changes post next week!

2011-08-07T19:38:00.001-04:00

id be okay if channing tatum was my boyfriend.

2011-08-04T22:29:00.001-04:00

oh hey august.

2011-07-31T20:05:00.001-04:00

gonna cook some dinner, put on a movie, and fall asleep. im just a regular old humdrum. tomorrow im going to make the most delicious lemon blueberry marble yum cake. i had a really good weekend.

so many things i want. people keep saying a lot of fancy things. and feeling a lot of fancy feelings. but no one wants to just do it. i might be in my head too much. but im ready for more.

like

2011-07-30T14:35:00.001-04:00

2011-07-27T20:07:00.002-04:00

A man was crossing the street when the white light said it was his turn to go. A car turning left into him stopped and waited for him to pass. Another car stopped behind that one, honked, and yelled 'move fucker.'

This, my friends, is Manhattan. At least midtown east.

2011-07-26T23:27:00.001-04:00

im buying new sunglasses this weekend. they will have clear frames. i wish tomorrow was friday, instead of wednesday. but mostly, i cant complain. my new job is nice.

2011-07-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

ive been wearing my hair like this quite frequently. in love.

2011-07-18T20:46:00.002-04:00

a lot of simultaneous change is a bit lonely.

one month in and it might be another few months before i can enjoy anything even close to this again.. sigh. tired of the couch.

2011-07-15T10:51:00.000-04:00

"If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty."
- Rilke Maria Rainer

i like that.

SUMMER

2011-07-13T13:13:00.001-04:00

in the city.

want

2011-07-12T08:47:00.000-04:00

2011-07-06T15:42:00.002-04:00

i can't believe it's july!
a big handful of things have been changing in my life, just over the last week. i got a new job and put in my 2 weeks. i ended my current relationship. and i have the dreaded horrible never ending bed bugs partnered with an unresponsive and apathetic landlord, which is an utter nightmare in every possible way.

yes, i feel like a new person in transition.

2011-06-24T21:17:00.001-04:00

2011-06-23T11:39:00.003-04:00

i would like to quit my job and go live somewhere quiet on a farmhouse with a big porch and sell fruit, or travel around the world to little towns where i can get little jobs as a waitress and take photos of the locals. more than anything id just like to relax, and live simply, for the little things.

2011-06-13T09:20:00.001-04:00

"Take time for your financial, emotional, and physical well being. Do the accounting. Find a romantic moment. Move your body. Clean up and then rest in your cozy nest."

accurate.

2011-05-29T20:35:00.003-04:00

i dont want to think about anything, put any feelings together. just want to stay here and sit on my porch watching thunderstorms. for at least a little while longer. step back and give everything a rest for a moment.

"I was thinking of inventing something cool. A robot whose hands come out through the wall and take your clothes off for you."
-Sarah

2011-05-24T15:01:00.002-04:00

Lately, I am a burping machine.

2011-05-23T13:34:00.002-04:00

5 days of work and then im off to ohio! i wish for longer than 3 days. i wish for 5. its still doomy and gloomy here. i saw the sun saturday for the first time in a week, and she only stayed out for a couple hours before another downpour. i feel changes happening, ones well needed. im looking forward to a new phase in my life. im trying to decide what exactly thats going to entail. its hard though, when i read headlines that say 'the american dream exists, but no longer for the middle class.'

2011-05-20T10:33:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite things in my life is Thursday mornings, when I open the bar and put on whatever song I want to hear and blast it throughout the empty, huge room. It's my moment. Too bad that was taken away from me, too.

Bye wonderful Thursdays, I'll miss you.

2011-05-18T13:07:00.002-04:00

what is it with men and not being able to handle their own emotions lately? they act on everything all wrong, or they act on nothing at all. Cmon, get your act together and stop being little pussies! life is hard, share it with someone.

2011-05-17T15:53:00.005-04:00

so many things are happening but i can't tell you because were not speaking. its frustrating when your friends all start pairing off. no one means to do it, but you start seeing them less and less. and you have to find new people. fact of life.

2011-05-16T10:36:00.000-04:00

i think we brought the cleveland weather to nyc. what a dreary life.

2011-05-13T18:23:00.001-04:00

Can you find the time
to let your lover love you
He only wants to show you,
the things he wants to learn too
The hardest parts you'll get through
And in the end you'll have your best friend

2011-05-12T13:53:00.000-04:00

my dream day:

2011-05-12T08:46:00.000-04:00

my asthma woke me up last night, for the second time this week. im not too fond of this pattern, but what can i do. im not sure how i developed this awful sickness, but i wish i hadnt and i hope its just some sort of strange cycle or reaction to nyc.

yesterday was a feat. d wrote me this weird, emotionally unattached email about taking some time apart. i dont even know what to say. what a bizarre and abrupt little day it was yesterday. tried to make meatballs but that was a total fail. now if only i could breathe, maybe i could get some sleep and wipe this day off of me.

on a different note, im going to see train in august at jones beach!

2011-05-09T23:04:00.000-04:00

I LOVE THE MADDENING CROWD so much forever and always.

2011-05-07T20:49:00.002-04:00

too much to fix, feeling worn.

2011-04-20T23:50:00.003-04:00

crazy day today, work was insane. now i cant sleep and im missing d. i feel exhausted. i want a pool house. why am i obsessed with shoes.

2011-04-17T18:58:00.004-04:00

last week was a painful marathon but the weekend was very happy. not looking forward to another marathon starting tomorrow.

id love to hang these mirrors on my wall, if only they didnt cost my entire paycheck.

2011-04-12T22:04:00.002-04:00

i know im an amateur, but i really enjoy the little bits of event planning i get to do. i find i have the best days when i see an inquiry from beginning to end, and when my clients are so satisfied. it makes me feel good - and its fun! i wish i could do more of that. and i wish i felt appreciated. and i wish people communicated better. i miss summer with porches and back yards.

2011-04-09T00:08:00.004-04:00

i've been wanting to get out of the city for the weekend but it just hasn't seemed to work out. everyone has their summer homes, and some even have their winter ski rentals. but i tell ya it's the soon to be spring itch that makes me feel so antsy. i wish this weekend i was in a cute wooden cabin by a fireplace.

2011-04-07T23:01:00.002-04:00

as far as flowers go, im not a huge tulip fan. but, no complaints here:

ambivalence (ME)

2011-04-06T23:40:00.003-04:00

-able to analyze all sides of an argument/situation
-stronger ability to cope with negative/harmful situations
-often more creative
-erratic in job performance
-recognize negative aspects in relationships and continue to worry about them, as opposed to black and white thinkers who just see one outweighing the other

2011-03-30T08:55:00.003-04:00

ive been having my crazy dreams lately, and i welcome it. it feels more like myself, i feel more like myself. i also enjoy running around central park at night, its a glorious feeling. i feel small in the big world, but big inside me.

dumb

2011-03-28T11:45:00.004-04:00

10. Kansas: illegal to screech your tires.
9. Eureka, California: unlawful to sleep in any public space.
8. Fort Thomas, Kentucky: illegal for your pet to “molest” a vehicle.
7. South Berwick, Maine: illegal to park in front of the Dunkin Donuts.
6. Rockville, Maryland: illegal to swear within earshot of other people. Even if you’re in your car. (this would be a huge problem in nyc)
5. Minnetonka, Minnesota: illegal for your vehicle to be dirty.
4. Sag Harbor, New York: illegal to take your clothes off in your car. (i do this a lot..)
3. Canton, Ohio: illegal to roller skate in the street.
2. Oregon: illegal to leave a vehicle door open on the side of traffic, pedestrians or bicycles “for a period of time longer than necessary to load or unload passengers.”
1. Hilton Head, South Carolina: illegal to store trash in your car.

this seems an awful lot like unnecessary parenting.

http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/autos_content_landing_pages/1792/weird-traffic-laws/

2011-03-22T15:22:00.001-04:00

"You're never fully prepared. You never really arrive. The best you can do is to keep painting the walls to suit your new circumstances."

new shoes

2011-03-20T20:36:00.002-04:00

now i just need somewhere to wear them.

2011-03-09T12:03:00.002-05:00

The top 10 everyday niggles and passion-killers:
1. Weight gain/lack of exercise, 13%
2. Money & Spend thriftiness, 11%
3. Anti-social working hours, 10%
4. Hygiene issues (personal cleanliness), 9%
5. In-Laws/extended family - too much/too little, 9%
6. Lack of romance (sex, treats etc.), 8%
7. Alcohol - drinking too much, 7%
8. Snoring & anti social bedtime habits, 6%
9. Lapsed fashion-Same old underwear/clothes, 4%
10. Bathroom habits - Stray nail cuttings etc., 4%

interesting.

2011-03-08T10:12:00.002-05:00

its amazing what a small prospect of a positive change (combined with a little caffeine) can do for the spirit.

2011-03-06T18:20:00.005-05:00

right now, the thought of starting a new week yet again makes me feel helpless and down. im not sure i can handle the thought of waiting for the weekend - just so im not forced to mingle with people i dont want to and fake how i feel. just want to be in my safe home, listening to the rain, letting time pass. im not myself, and have little effort to be. at the moment. must heal, but this city forces me to keep moving. gotta take it day by day.

additionally, for some reason ive gotten to the point where i keep thinking about him with other people, him having a good time doing things we did, him being interested in other girls and its not the greatest. and then theres all the typical you mean nothing to him compared to the other girls and hes not thinking about you and all the other insecure thoughts are creeping into my head and i have to force myself to stop. mental preparation & training, perhaps. should i toughen up and get myself together or allow myself to think on the things i loved and the feeling of his arms around me..

ugh. its over. isnt that enough?

on top of that, started to get my asthma when working out today LAME why

2011-03-04T08:07:00.003-05:00

:( i hope no one says anything mean to me today cause i might collapse. too weak today. hearts a bit broken, thoughts are too heavy.

2011-02-20T23:23:00.002-05:00

since when do i have two other guys who want to be with me, and then the one i want to be with is slipping away.

guh.

2011-02-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

this sunshine bumps my mood up exponentially.

im in love with warmth!

2011-02-08T23:23:00.003-05:00

im going to florida in 5 days and i cant contain my insides. im an antsy little ant. a wandering wanderlust. winter in the city is not a beautiful wonderland - at least not after new years. its slush, grey, and wind traps. its misery, squared. no, its snug squared. skintight. i want to get out, and then i still want to. its stir crazy cabin fever warmth yearning bucolic lusting and then add me attempting to be in a relationship. (ha! i laugh now thinking about it) and now, its snug cubed. my head is a tender swamp.

i need to pull out.

love this tweet

2011-02-05T16:00:00.001-05:00

"I feel bad for Rihanna who is showing signs of degenerative memory loss. Her song, she keeps asking her grandma what her own name is. So sad"

i laughed.

2011-02-02T07:44:00.002-05:00

all these teasy taunty snowstorms producing no snow days. pitiful, useless.

2011-01-30T22:25:00.002-05:00

im starting to get really nervous because i keep getting these minor asthma attacks that are getting more frequent and worse and i cant go to the doctor because i dont have insurance. im not sure what to do at this point.

i must be getting old because

2011-01-18T10:02:00.003-05:00

im upset that fashion forward designers tell me i should to wear high wasted flare denim this season - and more importantly that their influence on buyers and stores will almost force me to. i like my low wasted straight denim. sorry future children, i guess i will be a lame mother after all.

2011-01-04T09:06:00.003-05:00

on the first day of the year i tried something new and bravely rocked it. (the 2nd day wasnt so bad either.) in fact my entire weekend was pretty great. here's to 2011 being full of things like that.

on another note, i want a dog.

2010-12-28T22:27:00.002-05:00

i am too fleeting to both be in love and recognize it.

snowed out of nyc

2010-12-27T11:05:00.003-05:00

so instead i'm taking this day to lay in bed, watch movies, and eat gingerbread and gumdrops. (and work from home in my pjs, kinda)

vacation, check.

2010-12-26T00:30:00.000-05:00

i feel like two people.
(occasionally, three)

home

2010-12-20T17:44:00.004-05:00

i have returned
to that special
quiet

where i do not
have to be
anything

other than
quiet
loving
quiet

and home
being
home

(ed roodhouse)

dad!

2010-12-17T19:39:00.002-05:00

glad you were born 60 years ago (even though that's a really scary number)

2010-12-12T15:44:00.001-05:00

2010-11-30T22:01:00.001-05:00

december?

2010-11-25T23:27:00.003-05:00

can't remember the last time i sat at a table to eat! unless you count my desk at work.
either way, GOBBLE GOBBBLE.

icelandic

2010-11-20T09:04:00.003-05:00