i dont want to think about anything, put any feelings together. just want to stay here and sit on my porch watching thunderstorms. for at least a little while longer. step back and give everything a rest for a moment.

"I was thinking of inventing something cool. A robot whose hands come out through the wall and take your clothes off for you."
-Sarah

Lately, I am a burping machine.

5 days of work and then im off to ohio! i wish for longer than 3 days. i wish for 5. its still doomy and gloomy here. i saw the sun saturday for the first time in a week, and she only stayed out for a couple hours before another downpour. i feel changes happening, ones well needed. im looking forward to a new phase in my life. im trying to decide what exactly thats going to entail. its hard though, when i read headlines that say 'the american dream exists, but no longer for the middle class.'

One of my favorite things in my life is Thursday mornings, when I open the bar and put on whatever song I want to hear and blast it throughout the empty, huge room. It's my moment. Too bad that was taken away from me, too.

Bye wonderful Thursdays, I'll miss you.

what is it with men and not being able to handle their own emotions lately? they act on everything all wrong, or they act on nothing at all. Cmon, get your act together and stop being little pussies! life is hard, share it with someone.

so many things are happening but i can't tell you because were not speaking. its frustrating when your friends all start pairing off. no one means to do it, but you start seeing them less and less. and you have to find new people. fact of life.

i think we brought the cleveland weather to nyc. what a dreary life.

Can you find the time
to let your lover love you
He only wants to show you,
the things he wants to learn too
The hardest parts you'll get through
And in the end you'll have your best friend

my dream day:

my asthma woke me up last night, for the second time this week. im not too fond of this pattern, but what can i do. im not sure how i developed this awful sickness, but i wish i hadnt and i hope its just some sort of strange cycle or reaction to nyc.

yesterday was a feat. d wrote me this weird, emotionally unattached email about taking some time apart. i dont even know what to say. what a bizarre and abrupt little day it was yesterday. tried to make meatballs but that was a total fail. now if only i could breathe, maybe i could get some sleep and wipe this day off of me.

on a different note, im going to see train in august at jones beach!

I LOVE THE MADDENING CROWD so much forever and always.

too much to fix, feeling worn.