its saturday

but feels like friday and yesterday felt like saturday. im sleepy. very exhausted and excited to lay in my bed from now until tomorrow. yesterday i had fun sitting at the bar singing (screaming) weezer and other bad (fun) 90s songs. among other things. it was good. too tired for other thoughts.

sigh.

things that fit/dont fit into other things.

(this was outside my sisters apt.)..

there are alot of other things like this, too. but my stomach hurts kinda bad right now to think about it. later.

click

i have to make a decision. i hate it. fast forward 1 year? im completely okay with not doing 2009. id rather be alone and somewhere i dont want to be, than be nowhere at all.

nature-ish aspirations

see outer space
ride an elephant
go to a hot air balloon festival
have a kick ass treehouse
see the normandy invasion beaches

thats it for now.
im very sleepy tonight.

delicate

1.. i think youre mean.

2.. i want one/lets make one:
3.. work was nice today. some people i work with i feel so good to know.

"I've decided to waste my life again, like I used to: get drunk on the light in the leaves, find a wall against which something can happen... I've decided to waste my life in a new way, to forget whoever touched a hair on my head, because it doesn't matter what came to pass, only that it passed, because we repeat ourselves, we repeat ourselves. I've decided to walk a long way out of the way, to allow something dreaded to waken for no good reason, let it go without saying, let it go as it will to the place it will go without saying"

dream death/waking life

"your own death may symbolize a desire to be free of a situation." "symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life"

shot straight in the forehead, felt the impact, paused for a brief moment, and then just got up and walked away. this is new to me.

my vegetable love

getting away from already pretty much being away from it all.
what i would give to be on that puget sound beach again even just for one hour. is there anyone where i am?

it doesnt seem so.

joss stone

matlock and paczkis.

moon eyes

today from work i brought home:














its not exactly my style. but! its huge. and i love that. theres another one. (with an umbrella!) but its quite bigger (!!!!!) and i havent the space.

i feel like im neglecting my father, too much. and it makes me feel uncomfortable. but i cant bring it to myself to open up to him. kinda in any way at all. hm.
one day at a time?

lille demo

oh conan, youre funny. and great.
denim vest, come here!
i wanna see a whale in the ocean. (badly.)
i cant resist this.

forest

my brother in law is in jail. my sister cant afford rent/bills and is under several govt help programs. she has bronchitis. she cant go to work because of it so she is losing money. and she doesnt have insurance to get medicine. and her car just broke. my little heart cant handle it. today i wish i wasnt me. i dont want to go to work tomorrow. at least its raining.

magnolia

im too tired today to feel so confused. its very important to know who you can trust.

paranoia vs. reality

fuck!

never in my life have i questioned so many people/things. makes me wanna permanently vacation myself.

this place was built for moving out

the air's not meant for throttling through, but for breathing in.

so its early. and i have the whole day, the entirety of an entire day to do absolutely anything at all. i dont have a clue. i feel i should get out, though. go explore something. except that kinda all i wanna do is go on a walk with someone. but the cold is scaring me away. id do it, though, if you were here.

our missed connection is a series of wrong places/wrong times. in the span of it all, its quite a frustration! but as far as today goes, its just another day. just another time. it may be less complicated to just not go there at all. to forego any thoughts & expectations. and just do whatever. deal.

happy birthday sarah.

hobbying

ive been thinking lately that i need a hobby. although, im such a summer soul, that winter hobbies (at least for poor people.) are really hard to come by for me. i really want to start making short film clips for clothes lines. i feel like theyve been around awhile, but lately ive been viewing so many! and they intrigue me so much more than runway! although, i have absolutely no knowledge on film-making whatsoever. nor do i have the means to do so. but perhaps i could just start by ideas and rough drafts and sketch prints. i mean, its a start, right? if nothing else, itll keep my mind/energy on the lovely things.

this is how im feeling about spring:

Color by COLOURlovers

mondays

keepin up with social
falling in the middle

been having dreams about weddings, lately. its quite unlike me.
im hungry. ill go eat some food now.